Basecamp for Men E100: The Learning Inside of Your Marriage

E100: The Learning Inside of Your Marriage with Special Guest Kimberly Holmes

 

E100 Introduction

Wow, I can’t believe we have made it to episode 100! I feel a sense of accomplishment with this and I want to start off  by thanking my excellent sound editor Chris Rodd. Chris, I couldn’t have done it without you.

And I would like to thank you my listener for giving our show a try and, for many of you, putting it into your regular rotation of podcasts. I really appreciate the follow. And if you are a fan of the show, help us by recommending it to a friend or two or giving us a review on Apple podcasts. Both of these actions help us to continue to grow and get the word out.

As many of you know, one of my interests is how we can best show up as men in our most important relationships. These primary relationships (with our spouses or life partners, with our children, with our siblings and our parents) will inevitably bring our most challenging issues to the surface.  They always do.

There is an interesting dynamic at play. These most intimate relationships are the ones we CARE the most about. And what tends to show up in the things we care about the most? Challenges and obstacles. Ones that we seem to sub-consciously put in our own way as we learn to love one another and ourselves unconditionally.

It is not hard to see that is is not always the great parts of us that are in our marriages and partnerships. We each show up with our unique wounds and insecurities. Our neediness, our upsets, our fears.

And there is a paradox at play. We seem to want unconditional love from one another but then keep putting parts of ourselves out there that we don’t even love. It is like we are telling our partners, “I don’t really like this small, needy, insecure part of myself, what do YOU think?”.

We long for the healing of our deepest wounds and then misguidedly ask our poor unsuspecting partner to do the healing. We often don’t suspect that it is ourselves that hold the key to the healing and love we have been looking for from our partners.

I sometimes think that our spouses and life-partners are really here to  bear witness to our courage to confront ourselves and to change. They encourage us to be true to ourselves and do our best to love life and them, with a full and open heart.

My guest today knows a lot about learning in a relationship. Let’s go have a conversation.

 

Kimberly Holmes Bio-

Kimberly Bean Holmes is the CEO of  Marriage Helper, an organization that seeks to give couples new resources for their journey.  She is also the CEO and Creator of PIES University. Kimberly is also the host of the It Starts With Attraction Podcast. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 200K people a month who are making changes and becoming the best that they can be. Here is my interview with Kimberly Holmes.

E100 Final Thoughts-

I hope you enjoyed my interview with Kimberly Holmes. I love what she said about how even if you are the only one to do inner work to help the relationship. This will often be enough to get positive development going. Because some of you might have partners that are not interested in therapy or working on things and that is ok. As long as YOU are willing to work on yourself, things will tend to grow in the relationship as well.

I also love what she said about  remember that how you make your spouse FEEL is so important. I think this is such an important point and I think it can get lost in long-term relationships. I know I lose sight of it from time to time.

Lastly, I asked Kimberly for a couple of book recommendations for you and I have a couple as well. Kimberly recommends 8 Datesby Dr. John Gottman and Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. My two relationship books that I love are Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix and Passionate Marriageby David Schnarch

 

 

 

Basecamp for Men E99: Leaving the Left

E99: Leaving the Left with Special Guest Lisa Rezac

 

E99 Introduction

I wanted to speak with you a bit today about a particular part of my Hero’s Journey and bring my life-partner and wife of 27+ years on as another set of eyes.

I have spoken of my political leanings in season three from time-to-time. I have even unpacked how I felt jettisoned by the radical left agenda. Many of you might be feeling the same way.

One of the most alarming things that I witnessed throughout this so-called pandemic was the liberties that Americans seemed so willing to give up in service to an authoritarian voice that told them this is how it had to be. It was and is appalling to me.

There is a part of me that is still scratching my head a bit. But I have also moved on. My take is that people will wake up when it’s their time. Neo will awaken. This much I know. For it lives inside of our Divine Imagination as  mythic prophesy.

Like I said in the last episode, using some of our most cherished and valuable myths and interfacing them with the Matrix and the Lord of the Rings, etc. If you can only parrot what the MSM is saying, you are still in the slime pod. Even if you pride yourself on your intellect and your critical skills, if you are parroting what the enemy wants you to parrot, you are still in the Matrix. You are playing a character Neo. The character you are playing is one that can’t be duped or fooled. You are too smart. Too on the ball. Too aware. You are a proud liberal and dammit, that means something. Such is the way of the ego.

As I have continued to riff on myths such as the Fallen Goddess Myth, I have started to become aware of an interesting dynamic. That, as Americans, we have our own version of the Goddess: our beloved Lady Liberty, the Feminine Soul  of our great nation. That she has been treated so shabbily and nearly forgotten by a group that will do nothing but hate and demean her. WHAT THE HELL?!?

Will everyday men and women defend her honor? Will liberals? Do you really need to have your freedoms stripped from you before you see what you truly have in this country? It’s an insane approach if you do. And much more full of suffering.

Why not honor the Goddess that is in front of you by showing her the reverence, love, and and awe that she deserve . And defend her when she is attacked. Are you following me?

I see people not wanting to step up here, no matter their political leanings. Maybe they are following the riffs on myth and the Grail and the Goddess and all the things I seek to challenge you with. But they still take too passive of a stance when defending this Goddess. She needs Warriors, both men and women, that are awake. People that are willing to put their backs into it.  Our ancestors (and future generations) are counting on us. We will not them down.

I want to let my mythic imagination run free. When I look back on my life, I see that freedom was always of utmost importance to me. It is in the core of my being. And the country that I was born and raised in and even taught to hate by my liberal education, is a living breathing Goddess herself, isn‘t she? America is and will continue to be a beacon of Light, for the world. And she is in the middle of HER rebirth.

Just consider what I am sharing with you. Trust me. I want to challenge you but we are on the same side, you and I. My prayer and my deep intention is that we continue to find each other through boundaries that we were always meant to break free from.

Speaking for  both Lisa and I, we welcome those of you who are arriving and we deeply honor you on your Hero’s Journey, no matter which chapter you are on.

E99 Final Thoughts-

I hope you enjoyed our time with the always interesting Lisa Rezac. My hope is that, if you are a die-hard liberal, you can come away with a fresh perspective of Libertarians and Conservatives that might look a little like Naomi Wolf’s newfound appreciation. Nothing will melt illusory boundaries between these camps like mutual appreciation and gratitude.

I also highly recommend, especially liberals, join Telegram. I promise you that you won’t die. What WILL happen is you will start to become aware of things that are unfolding that are being omitted and censored by Big Media and Big Tech. Telegram is full of citizen journalists and independent and critical thinkers and yes, “conspiracy theorists”. You will even see people reposting some of Q‘s drops.

One thing Lisa forgot to mention when we were speaking of the difference in information between Telegram and MSM is she mentioned the massive demonstrations that are going on all over the world. Huge gatherings to protest masks, vaccines, shut-downs, and government overreach into our liberties. Are you seeing any of this on YOUR feed? Well, it’s happening.

If you do decide to make your way to Telegram, start with a simple follow: a channel called We The Media.  It’s sort of the baseline on Telegram. From there, you can find interesting voices and  citizen journalists whom you enjoy.

All of it exists for your awakening. I trust all of you to have the bandwidth and discernment to find the threads that most spark your curiosity and Divine intelligence.

 

 

 

 

Basecamp for Men E94: The Path of Initiation-Part 2

E94: The Path of Initiation with Special Guest Joe Grube

 

E94 Introduction

This week I wanted to do a continuation of the theme we set in E86 The Path of Initiation but with a different guest. I believe that initiations mark our Soul’s journey. And that these initiations will come throughout our lives and can come in unusual ways. Sometimes we don‘t even realize that we were in an initiatory phase until the years ripen us and we look back. Through this initiatory lens, we can see how life was bringing us forth through mythic dimensions. Teaching us all the way.

Like so many young people, both my guest and I experienced the initiatory intensity of psychedelics on many occasions.  It is not something I talk about very often but as it was a clear initiation with a “before” and “after” Tony. So I thought I would take a look at it today.

There is something expansive and transcendent in this path. But it is fraught with danger, as spiritual teachers have often stated. Psychedelics are strong. Sometime REALLY strong. And they can take their toll on your nervous system and your mind. I would not recommend them to everyone.

Yet for the intrepid explorer, psychedelics have proven to open the doors of perception to a more cosmic dimension. Furthermore, what is seen, felt, and understood under the influence of psychedelics will often last a lifetime. In other words, you don’t need to take them over and over again. Although some people certainly do.

To bookend this edgier initiation, I thought I would include some wisdom from another initiation that my guest and I share: fatherhood. Here is another initiation that some men take and some don’t. It is a terrifying thing, becoming a father. You might not hear men say how scared they are as they await the arrival of their child but I can certainly attest to it.

I can usually tell if a man is a father just by how he carries himself. There is something intangible in a man’s aura or body language that indicates that he has children. It is something in the man’s soul. Perhaps it‘s that he has participated in his lineage in an active way and seems to carry something from his ancestors and future generations with him. Or perhaps it’s just because he has skin in the game, literally.

It might seem like strange bedfellows for an episode. Psychedelics and fatherhood. Let’s see if we can make a little sense of these powerful initiations.

Joe Grube Bio-

My guest today is my friend Joe Grube. Joe is an attorney, a husband and father, and a man known for his love of life, his great sense of humor, and for bringing a lightness and ease to his conversations and interractions with others. Here is my interview with Joe Grube.

E94 Final Thoughts-

I hope you enjoyed my interview with Joe Grube. Joe and I both recommend Ram Das’s Be Here Now, which is considered a classic in psychedelic and mystical literature. Whether or not you ever explore the psychedelic path, Be Here Nowcarries incredible wisdom and Light. It has the distinction being one of the first books that brought the teachings and wisdom of the east to the minds of  us westerners.

Basecamp for Men E92: Bridging the Left and the Right

E92: Bridging the Left and the Right with Special Guest Chris Beatie

 

E92 Introduction

One of the most crippling things about 2020 and 2021 has been the stark division amongst WE THE PEOPLE. The narrative in any MSM outlet is clearly designed to create separation instead of unity.

Mask wearers vs. unmasked. Vaccinated vs. unvaccinated. Biden supporters vs. Trump supporters. BLM vs. back the blue.There is a sub-conscious tendency to demonize the other side. I have spoken and written about this on several occasions. We have to find a path that integrates all aspects of WE THE PEOPLE.

The left and right both have their own unique conditioning and part of that conditioning is to put the other side in a sort “aren‘t they stupid” sort of thing. As someone who was a liberal for 30 years, I know the conditioning of the left quite well. I am a product of it. However as the radical left advanced on my tried and true traditional liberal foundation, I found myself looking for less constraints for my ideas and my truth.

Between identity politics that focused on dividing us along racial and sexual identities, a stifling conformity that would not allow me to question the mainstream narrative without being cancelled, I naturally started to drift to the right, in search of others who were curious and questioning about what the hell was going on.

I don’t know about you but I don’t like it when I hold harsh judgments of whoever is in the other group. Thoughts like “they are stupid” or “they are crazy, insane”or  “how can they be so in the dark, ignorant, etc. etc.”don’t let me express my natural love of our mutual humanity.

It is true I have interesting new friends in the Patriot community. But I also have tons of loved ones on the left. I see them working to figure things out. It’s not easy, I know that.

These are challenging times to navigate. On a personal level, I am working on my compassion. To not be so quick to condemn my brothers and sisters who are at a different stage or even a different path up the mountain.

For those that I travelled far and long with on the left. I haven‘t abandoned any of you. Not in any permanent sense. We are all mystic travellers finding our way. If our paths were deeply connected in the past, my sense is we will see each other again on common ground. There may be much to learn by travelling separate roads right now.

In this episode, I thought you would enjoy hearing two friends with quite different political orientations take a run at a few of the issues that seem to be so deeply dividing us. I hope you enjoy it.

Chris Beatie Bio-

Chris Beatie has been a computer engineer for the last 25 years.  Finding that the stress and rigors of 12+ hour work days was taking a toll on his health,  Chris decided to apply his engineering skills to improve his life, becoming a biohacker of sorts.  Books, podcasts, doctors, medications, eastern medicine, Chris has explored and experimented far and wide!  His personal mission passion is to help others find their most enlightened, capable, healthy and happy version of themselves.

E92 Final Thoughts-

I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Chris Beatie. Here are two men who are on different sides of some of these contentious wedge issues but have not lost their affinity, respect, or love for one another. I hope it helps you navigate the conversations and interactions that you are having.

I thought it was interesting that, even though we made opposite choices on the vaccine issue, there is mutual respect for one another. We both expressed concern for the other. He is hoping I don‘t get Covid and die and I am hoping he has no long-term effects from an experimental vaccine. Both of us have made informed choices and we both wish the best for one another. I don’t need him to do what I am doing and vice versa.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for Chris. He’s smart, lives from the heart, and makes good choices for himself and his family. I know that he also has positive regard for my character and my decision making process.

If you liked the interview, go check out an earlier one I did with Chris in on EP #41 titled Conversations with Men. In that episode, Chris and I talk about men’s health, testosterone replacement,  men’s personal development and some other interesting topics.

Basecamp for Men E77: Why the World Will ALWAYS Need Men

E77: Why the World Will ALWAYS Need Men

with Special Guest Nicky Billou

 

E77 Introduction-

I believe that we still need masculine men. Men who know who they are, who are comfortable in their own skin. I believe we will always need the rock solid strength that men bring to the world.

Look, not everyone is going to be transgender or androgynous, despite what the MSM or pop culture is telling us. I do not believe it is best for our nation to have a world full of overly sensitive, politically correct soy boys. Do you?

The world has always and will always need men. After all, who will defend our nation? Who will protect our women and children? Who will father our future generations? Where will humanity derive its strength, which is inherent in men.

The eroding impact of cultural Marxism has temporarily put good men on their heels. Masculinity is under attack. This is not the cry of a victim here. I am just noticing.

There is a concerted effort to emasculate men. To turn us into something that we aren’t.   Boys are being educated to sit down and shut up and are often shamed simply for being of “the aggressive gender”.

I had the experience recently of finishing up a 9-year stint on the Board of Directors for a NYC not-for-profit. Overall, it was a wonderful experience.  However, as I was finishing up my tenure, our Board happened to schedule a day-long training in Critical Race Theory. I politely declined to participate.

According to Critical Race Theory, the fact that I declined to participate automatically makes me a racist. It doesn’t take much these days.

Yet, the truth is I didn’t want to waste 6 precious hours talking about how best to treat people, which I feel I do pretty well.  As a man, I’ve been trained to guard my boundaries well and I am just am not interested nor available to be shamed, confused, and isolated by trained cultural Marxists.  It seems that shaming, dividing, and confusing people is what they do best.

Political correctness has brought us a long ways from something so common sense as this: have respect and kindness for everyone you meet. This seems to me a much simpler approach to all the hand wringing, angst, and finger-pointing that we see today.

In these issues, I am really clear about a couple of things. One, I refuse to let others tell me what my experience is within the human tribe. I trust myself and I see us all as brothers and sisters on an epic Hero’s Journey. If that is not good enough for cultural Marxists and their followers, fuck ’em I say.

And I am also really clear that we will continue to need good men to help anchor strength in the human tribe. Men are needed now more than ever. If the men of our human tribe don’t claim and honor their inner strength, the part of them that is essentially masculine, then what do we do when the world once again needs the clarity and presence and strength of good men?

Let’s go talk to my guest today about some of these very issues.

 

Nicky Billou Bio-

Nicky Billou is the International Best Selling Author of the book: Finish Line Thinking: How to Think and Win Like a Champion.He is an in-demand and highly inspirational speaker and an advisor and confidante to some of the most successful and dynamic entrepreneurs in Canada. He is the co-founder of eCircle Academy (www.eCircleAcademy.com) where he runs a yearlong Mastermind & Educational program working with Coaches, Consultants, and Corporate Trainers.

Nicky is the host of the podcast The Thought Leader Revolution where he has interviewed over 200 of the world’s top thought leaders. Here is my interview with Nicky Billou.

E77 Final Thoughts-

I hope you enjoyed our conversation with Nicky as much as I did. As we were finishing our call, Nicky wanted me to pass along an offer for you. Anyone who wants a free 45-minute coaching session with him, just go to www.eCircleAcademy.comand go book a success call. This is a really generous offer to all of you entrepreneurs out there to get some free insights from a man who knows how to guide thought leaders and others towards success.