E199: The Lone Wolf Syndrome w Special Guest Tony Endelman

E199 Introduction

Today‘s episode is a bit of a throwback episode for us. In a good way. As many of you know, Basecamp for Men was conceived and started as a resource show for men’s personal development. The power of men‘s groups and a positive, authentic masculinity was the medicine I was called to bring forth from all of my years leading and participating in men‘s groups. It has defined my life and I am full of gratitude for the men I have followed and led in this work.

My friend Dave recently sent me a new book about Dr. Robert Glover. Dr. Glover is the author of the classic men’s book No More Mr. Nice Guy. I dug in and recognized that the authors and I had similar stories and wounds but with different paths up the mountain so to speak.

Men have always been more powerfully who they are when they can speak authentically with other men. This is a rare thing, as you will hear in this episode.

I think all men carry this sort of lone wolf syndrome. We think we can do the work, grow ourselves up into the men we want to be, heal our childhood traumas (that we all have), and become strong, confident partners and fathers. And do all of this with absolutely no support! It is delusional.

As the Mankind Project has said over and over again, it takes a tribe of men to grow men. For only other men know intimately the shame, hurt, violence, and shadow that are hidden deep inside of a man‘s heart and soul. The astoundingly wonderful secret for men: the more you can speak from your depths without flinching, the more light that can come into your heart and your life.

And men are great at hiding. We hide our hurt and our addictions and our hopes and fears. We hide our shame and our heartbrokenness and feelings of inadequacy. Fuck we try and hide it all because we think that if you knew who I really am and how I really felt (especially when I feel small) you will desert me. So we just go it alone. Are you following me?

Today’s conversation is hopefully like sitting in a good men’s group. As my guest, himself a veteran of these emotionally honest expressions, brings the truth about what it means to be a man. I hope you see yourself in our sharing. Enjoy the interview.

Tony Endelman Bio

Tony Endelman is an author, popular self-help blogger, and certified transformational life coach. Additionally, he is one of Dr. Robert Glover’s elite certified No More Mr. Nice Guy coaches. Tony’s recently released book, THE BIG STICK: Collected & Applied Wisdom from the Teachings of Dr. Robert Glover encapsulates 40 years of wisdom put forth by Dr. Glover.  Here is my interview with Tony Endelman.

E199 Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed our conversation as much as I did. Love Tony and his message for men. And go get a copy of the excellent new men’s book The Big Stick where Tony distills Dr. Glover‘s wisdom down into what you need to know as a man. Thank you Basecampers and we’ll see you around the fire next week.