Basecamp for Men E12: Firestarters for Men-Compassion

E12: Firestarter for Men-Compassion

 

E12 Introduction

Pema Chodron, the great Western Buddhist teacher, writes “Our personal attempts to live humanely in this world are never wasted. Choosing to cultivate love rather than anger just might be what it takes to save the planet from extinction.

What is it that allows our goodwill to expand and our prejudice and anger to decrease? This is a significant question. Traditionally it is said that the root of aggression and suffering is ignorance. But what is it that we are ignoring? Entrenched in the tunnel vision of our personal concerns, what we ignore is our kinship with others.

One reason we train as warrior-Bodhisattvas is to recognize our interconnectedness- to grow in understanding that when we harm another, we are harming ourselves.

So we train in recognizing our uptightness. We train in seeing that others are not so different from ourselves. We train in opening our hearts and minds in increasingly difficult situations.”

In today’s episode, we introduce Firestarters for Men, our new short format segment. This will be used from time-to-time as a break from our standard interview format and to offer something to listeners that is short and sweet. These Firestarters will tend to be 8-12 minutes instead of our usual 30 minutes or so.

I hope you enjoy this first one about compassion and the story by the late Aikido master Terry Dobson.

Enjoy and thank you listeners!

Tony

 

Basecamp for Men E11: Building Boys

E11: Building Boys: A Conversation with Nicky Wilks

 

E11 Introduction

The topic of  boys and how to best set them up for optimal emotional well-being is a topic that is near and dear to me. With a twelve year-old son of my own and what I see as a woefully inept narrative when it comes to the inner lives of our boys, I have more than a passing concern with how we get our sons to healthy adulthood. What can a parent do to make sure our boys have what they REALLY need?

My guest today is an exceptional young man. Nicky Wilks has built his life’s purpose around providing training and resources for boys through his organization: Journeymen.

These trainings are powerful, inclusive, and help teen boys bridge the gap from confused, isolated, and hormonal young people to emerging young men with purpose, a budding emotional intelligence, and a community that supports and understands them. This is a noble mission and my conversation with Nicky is insightful and timely.

As a parent of a young boy, I am grateful to Nicky and the team at Journeymen for providing safe spaces for our boys to take their Hero’s Journey.

These types of trainings set a firm foundation for these boys to start their journey into adulthood. In today’s world,  a true rite-of-passage for boys is a rare thing. Join Nicky and I as we look at Journeymen’s high-quality outdoor adventures, what parents need to know about them, and what the boys get out of their participation.

Thank you listeners!

Tony

Basecamp for Men E10: Inside the Men’s Circle

E10: Inside the Men’s Circle

 

E10 Introduction

One of my intentions in creating BASECAMP FOR MEN is to give the listeners a sense of what the conversations are like inside of men’s wisdom circles.  I thought that if I could shed a light on the types of conversations that happen inside these groups, that more men would get curious and start to look for one near them.

Men inevitably find these groups inspiring, authentic, and uplifting. And they really are for everyone!

This episode addresses this intention and marks the introduction of a segment that I am calling The Warrior Dog Council. This means that each time we do this segment, we will have a small group of men on to answer questions, have a dialogue, etc.

This will give fresh perspectives to our Basecamp listeners, adding more voices on these important topics. We will be adding a Q & A segment to the show where listeners can email in their questions and The Warrior Dog Council will address them. That way the listener will hear multiple insights about a particular challenge that is brought to light.

Thank you for listening and enjoy E10: INSIDE THE MEN’S CIRCLE.

Basecamp for Men E9: Fatherhood Wide Open

E9: Fatherhood Wide Open with Special Guest Kyle Bradford

 

E9 Introduction

The heartbeat of this episode is AUTHENTICITY and my guest Kyle Bradford certainly embodies this quality. He shoots straight, tells it like it is, and owns his own mistakes and shadow. In short, he exemplifies living “wide open” and Kyle parents in this same style, as you’ll find out in this episode. We talk about gender, traditional values, and difficult discussions with our children.

Authenticity requires the courage to speak your truth. Fake is out. So is political correctness. Being real is what has others love and respect you. Join us in this discussion about living the genuine life and parenting our sons in the digital age.

Kyle Bradford Bio

Kyle Bradford is the writer behind  CHOPPERPAPA.COM, a blog dedicated to observations and discussions about marriage, single parenting, dating, divorce, and manhood.

Here is my interview with Kyle Bradford.

E9 Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed our time with Kyle Bradford. I think he exemplifies having courage in facing yourself and being authentic with your children. Parents often try and hide their wounds from their children and loved ones but I think this is a mistake. When you are authentic and come from the heart, people (including children) will give you space to show up in your humanity. I don‘t know any perfect people. But I do know lots of real people who make mistakes, look honestly at themselves, learn valuable lessons, and then communicate those lessons with heart and humility.

One thing I wanted to mention is the book The Porn Trap by Wendy and Larry Maltz. This is an essential book for anyone that is curious about the impact of pornography on your brain and your life. And for parents of young boys, it‘s an ally in understanding this lurking element that all of our boys will have to deal with. I hope to get Wendy and Larry on soon for more insights on this important topic.

I hope you enjoyed the episode. Thank you for listening to Basecamp for Men. And we’ll see you next week.

 

 

Basecamp for Men E8. The Power of Men’s Groups

E8: The Power of Men’s Groups with Special Guest

Dave Klaus

E8 Introduction

All around the world, every single day, men are gathering in circles. Known as men’s groups, men’s work, or men’s wisdom circles, these groups provide an essential resource to the men who are open enough to seek them out. One of the great gifts of men’s groups is creating environments where men can set their feet on their best path. Men’s groups act as a “basecamp” for the uncertain Hero’s Journey.

What lessons might YOU learn by participating in these circles? You‘ll have your own list. Here are my top five lessons I have learned by growing up inside the men’s movement:
  1. MEN ARE COURAGEOUS. This is something that is important for men to know about themselves. Too many men live their lives in routine and comfort. It can just suck the life out of you. One reason we do men’s work is to access the Hero within to live our most courageous lives.
  2. WHEN IT MATTERS MOST, MEN CAN BE TRUSTED. The more I learn about the real, authentic you, the more I can relate and trust you. When you drop the b.s. and be real with other men, they’ll have your back. I’ve seen it over and over again. Men are incredible!
  3. COLLECTIVE MALE WISDOM IS ALIVE AND WELL. Men have met in circles and counsels since the dawn of man. It‘s in our DNA. When men gather in groups, insights and possibilities arise that simply don‘t surface when men choose to go it alone.
  4. YOU CAN HANDLE HONEST FEEDBACK FROM MEN YOU TRUST. In men’s circles, we learn to give and receive clean feedback that accelerates growth. When feedback is given from the heart, men can hear it and work with it.
  5. LIFE GETS BETTER. When men gather to create powerful groups, life seems to move in a good way. These groups act like a compass for men. It gives you a community that knows you, understands the challenges of manhood, and gives you many opportunities to grow your leadership. Challenges that were depleting your energy are transmuted inside of a masculine circle. The collective feel of the group is that this is making a big difference for me. 

Join Tony and special guest Dave Klaus, editor and writer for On Purpose newsletter, as they talk about the state of masculinity, the value of men’s groups, and share with the listener’s what men‘s groups feel like by doing a traditional “check-in” round for the listeners. Enjoy!

Dave Klaus Bio

Dave is a speaker, writer, community leader, and criminal defense trial lawyer.  He is a skilled facilitator of large and small groups, and has honed these skills in his work with the ManKind Project, and in nearly forty jury trials.  He is an ordained priest with the Hollow Bones Zen Order with a daily meditation and qi gung practice.  His passion is to empower others to find their way to a path of clarity, flexibility, open-hearted connection, and flow in the present moment, so they they may share their gold with the world and effect real change.

E8 Final Thoughts

I really loved speaking with Dave. I feel like him and I could be good friends. It was the first time we did a check-in like we do in the men’s groups and the whole interview had a men’s group sort of feel to it, which is really appropriate for this episode.

I love what Dave said that one of the things he’d like to see from more men is this willingness to be uncomfortable. I agree. If men are willing to step into new environments for learning, such as the men’s weekend and these groups, it grows their capacity to sit  and be present with what is uncomfortable in life. This will always lead to growth and new insights.

And go subscribe to On Purpose Newsletter at https://mkpusa.org/onpurposenews/. Dave is a really good writer and if these topics interest you, you will find this newsletter refreshing in its authenticity.